I’m an avid traveller, almost a nomad. Mere thought of travelling makes my eyes shiny with a rush of happiness. While this pursuit of happiness showered upon me many accolades, it made me land up in self doubt too. Oh no, not because of any sort of existential philosophy, but because of the critical questions I was bombarded with, specially when I was appreciated for riding across India, and when I was interviewed for newspapers, magazines, for TV channels, radio or any appreciation for that matter. I was an instant hit because people loved to hear about my story of how, inspite of being a woman, I rode solo across India on my scooty. People were fascinated to hear about the beautiful experiences I had on road, and they appreciated how people helped me and were surprised to find that a girl can travel solo in India without being molested or raped.
While I enjoyed the limelight there were a few guys who were reluctant to the ‘unnecessary attention’ I got. They might have got irritated about the hullabaloo over the solo rides of a girl. Their reactions like, ‘we do the same and don’t get any attention and rather we’re ignored.’ A few guys teased me saying, “hume toh lagta hai ab hume bhi scooty lekar ghumne nikal jaana chahiye”. I vividly remember the guy who after my interview on Youth ki Awaz summit approached me and asked, “What have you done to deserve this? Bas akele ghuma hi toh hai, ye toh koi bhi kar leta hai!” Though my answer was politically correct, I went through the bout of self-criticism and found myself in the witness box as an accused vehemently defending my case in vain. I felt like the boys passing judgement over me were right,. What have I done? I have just travelled a few cities of India from khardungala pass to kanyakumari on my Vego. I rode on the roads of my country for which I pay tax. Article 19,of the Constitution of India gave me right to roam freely in my country. That’s my fundamental right, right? So what’s my achievement? How it makes me different from the rest of the crowd to get so much of attention, renowned platforms and all appreciation?
But then to find answers of some questions you’ve to travel an inner journey and gather some experiences. I got my answers through my travels and in my routine life.
Though I exercised my fundamental right to travel, I should remember that most of the girls in India cannot dream of it. Before a citizen of India I am a girl and a girl has to abide by many rules and should seek permission for whatever she does. There are places where we girls are allowed to go and places where we are not. Even a normal thing like riding a bike is a cultural shock when it comes to women.
When I upgraded myself from moped to bike I found not many men are conditioned to accept it. So even now (21st century) whenever I stop at petrol pump all covered with my gears and it’s impossible to identify my gender, people by default call me sir (aurte bike thodi chalati hai) and they get a shock of their life when they hear a feminine voice asking for petrol. Then comes the inevitable comment, “hame toh laga tha ki sir hai ye toh madam nikle”. The joke which is not laughable at all. There are thousands or I can say lakhs of girls riding bike but still we have made bike “mard ki gaadi”. Scooty hai toh ladki Bike hai toh ladka. And its not just about biking, whenever I dare to trade upon the male dominated territory, people, though they can make out my gender, call me ‘sir’ by habit. This reminds me of funny habit of policewalas calling their female boss ‘madam sir’. The experiences I shared are not new to women from different walks of life and women who chose untrod-den path.
Do dreams know boundaries? Of course they don’t! But people around you definitely try to set boundaries for women who chose to live differently. So, it’s better to chill and take the criticism and biases objectively and keep your spirit free. When life gives you lemons, chuck it back on life’s face and say, ‘No, Thank you!’